I have always had this little obsession with bears. On our honeymoon I got a bear charm after we did a bear tour. I have always wanted a Newfoundland dog and to name him Bear! Just recently I got this little journal with a bear on it just because! Little did I know that these things would have a very significant meaning to me!
This past weekend I heard a great story about how a bear destroyed a beautiful bird sanctuary in someone's yard they had built over several years time. Instead of just letting the bear win, they moved the feeders out of the way, rebuilt the broken ones and after some time it grew to an even more beautiful place for the birds.
There are going to be things that tear you down, that make you feel broken and not want to continue to push forward! But know that the "bears" are going to come and you can overcome these obstacles!
Some days, those obstacles come and it feels like a ton of bricks just came down on me. After sharing Beau and I's struggle to conceive with my PCOS, we have finally made it to the next step. Beau got his SA done and results came back with a referral to the Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). The report of our second obsticle we have to get through, came like a wave and I couldn't catch my breath. Our hope was that with positive results on Beau's end, we could try clomid for my next cycle (with my regular OB), which basically is an inexpensive treatment ($10-$100) for my ovulation issues. But unfortunately, our "plans" don't align with our actual journey. We have an appointment scheduled on September 8 with our RE. We will hopefully know more after this appointment what our options will be for conceiving, but "naturally" is pretty much out of the question at this point, with the news from today.
I feel more than every the love of God surrounding me. When I am feeling overwhelmed I turn up one of my favorite worship songs and just call out and give it to God. I don't know what to say, what I need or what to do, but I give it to Him. As we push forward in the process I know that His love surrounds me more than every before!
Leap of Faith
In the mist of the obstacles, I also see this bear symbol as a piece of hope! While at Women's Hospital, I hopped in the gift shop and bought this pair of baby shoes to put on our vision board. And finally put that charm I bought 4 years ago on a necklace. And that bear journal is now filled with sweet notes to our future baby! I leave you with this last scripture.