For the first time in months, I feel as if I am finally above water. I feel "normal" or whatever it was I felt before this journey with infertility. I'm not even exactly sure why I have had this shift. But I have to say I am enjoying every single moment.
That is how I have lasted this past year. A moment at a time. I have learned to not worry about the things that might be or could be. Many times, the outcome determined the decision I would worry about. So now I live moment by moment. I don't win this battle with worry every day, but thats ok because there is always a new moment!
This past weekend Beau, a friend and I went on our first backpacking trip. We have car camped before so sleeping in a tent was no big deal, but carrying 30 lbs of supplies on my back was interesting to say the least. We got there the Friday after Thanksgiving and came back on Sunday. Two days in the Great Smoky Mountains with no connections was refreshing. It was the breath of fresh air I so desperately needed. Away from it all. It was dark by 5:30pm so our nights ended young. As we sat by the fire to keep warm, I remember the crackle of the flames, the burning of the embers, the rushing stream just feet away from us, and the stars in the sky. It was beautiful.
As you know our first IUI was unsuccessful in October. We started the process last month for our second one and it was canceled because of my reaction to clomid. In this process of waiting for another cycle to start, I'm happy I found a little peace that I needed. :)
To our loved ones and friends who supported us at BabySteps 5k! What an amazing event put on by Sarah's Laughter to bring awareness to infertility! Although we did not win the $10,000 Family Building Grant I know that God's hand was over that event.
Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers!